Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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