Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
