whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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