if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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