He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
