girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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