So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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