i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
