ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
