I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
