bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
