where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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