I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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