It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
