how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
All the doctor said was why
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
