It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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