Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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