maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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