i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Come see our sink grown plant.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
