first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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