told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
