??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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