good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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