You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
