I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize