I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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