I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
