You smell like stripper and shame
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
only if we run a train.
done.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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