if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
i believe in u and ur pee
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