I should be sponsored by Trojan
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize