mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I looked at my own cervix.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
