all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize