you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize