i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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