It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
you would pick up someone in the library
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
