I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
