I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
