why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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