Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
That accounts for only three of the penises
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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