I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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