He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Houston, we have a squirter
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
