so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
