My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
