part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Randomize
