You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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