woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
