Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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