I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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