THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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