if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
