rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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