Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
