Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
