Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
