My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
