you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
