I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Randomize
