Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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