his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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