this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
