There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
