i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize