i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Farmville is her only friend.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Also, beer. Big fan.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I am one with the molecules
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
