An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
