We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize
