Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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