Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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