o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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