She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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